Help, My Boyfriend Has A Fiancée I Didn’t Know About

Ask Jay is ZUMI’s weekly relationship advice column

Dear Jay,

I have been dating this guy for some months now. We started as friends and we talked via Whatsapp for a while. I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said no. So we started going out. He was very nice to me and I thought he really liked me.

One day, I got a phone call from a lady claiming to be his fiancée. She told me she had been dating my boyfriend since university and his parents even know her. The lady said they were even planning to get married.

I confronted my boyfriend and he admitted that he had someone else but that the relationship was not so serious and that they were not getting married. We had a big fight and I stopped talking to him for a while.

His fiancée called me again to say that she had broken up with him and that if I wanted him, I could have him. The guy is still trying to get me back but I don’t know. I like him very much and based on what his fiancée said, they are no longer together. Should I give him another chance?

B.O.

(Photo: Footage Films)

Dear B.O

You may like this guy and he may seem nice but from what you’ve written here, it sounds like he’s not to be trusted. This isn’t a matter of whether or not he’s now single. He was with someone before he met you and did not have the decency to break things off with her before starting up with you. That’s not something a ‘nice’ man does.

You straight up asked him if he had a girlfriend and he said he didn’t. This is also not a good sign. What’s to stop him from doing this same thing to you. Do you honestly trust that if you start dating him, he’ll be faithful to you? Do you not worry that he will conveniently leave out his relationship status when another opportunity presents itself?

This man has shown you who he is and you should believe him. He does not deserve a second chance with you. Let him go.

(Photo: Giphy)

What do you think she should do in this situation? Please share your thoughts in the comment section. Also, read Jay’s advice to a woman who wants more kids but can’t get her husband to agree.

Do you have a burning relationship question you need answers to? Send us an email at [email protected]

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