Gaslighting is a form of abuse which is as subtle as it is dangerous. It is a kind of brainwashing and manipulation that abusive partners often use to make you doubt your reality. The gaslighter rewrites history and makes it look like the victim is confused, sensitive, weak and even paranoid.
Gaslighting in relationships happens more often than most people realize. It is such a wide concept and each situation is unique. One example is when you confront your partner with something he did wrong and he tells you that you’re going crazy or you didn’t remember what happened correctly.
He will also deny he did or said something that you clearly remembered happening. A gaslighter focuses on your deep fears and insecurity. For example, he knows you’re worried about being a little overweight and he calls you fat every chance he gets.
Emotional abuse is usually based on gaslighting and is not usually as evident as physical abuse. Many victims are unhappy in such relationships but they may not even be able to pinpoint exactly what’s wrong.
(Photo: MadameNoire)
So here are some signs he’s gaslighting you:
He tells a blatant lie
Your partner tells a big lie confidently. This makes you unsteady and has you questioning every other thing he has said to you.
He denies everything even when you have proof
A gaslighter can make you feel like what happened didn’t really happen. Even though you have proof, this guy will stand his ground. It can drive anyone insane.
It doesn’t happen overnight
Most people who are emotionally abused by a gaslighting partner don’t realize it’s happening because it is a gradual process. A lie here, a lie there, with some snide comments thrown in, before long, he succeeds in manipulating your emotions completely.
(Photo: YourTango)
His actions and his words don’t match
When in doubt, look more at what he does rather than what he says. A gaslighter’s biggest weapon is his words. So focus less on that and more on his actions. When they don’t match, he’s likely saying a lot of things that aren’t true.
He projects his bad behavior on you
Maybe he’s the cheater in the relationship, but to distract you from that, he constantly accuses you of cheating. So instead of attacking him for his own indiscretions, you’re left constantly defending yourself.
Gaslighting in relationships is usually done by an emotional abuser. They know that confusion weakens a person and they need you unsure, unsteady and in constant doubt of what they would do or say. That’s how they pull your strings. At the end of the day, they may even have you doubting your own sanity.
(Photo: Giphy)
For more, here are five signs you’ve fallen in love with an abuser.
Featured Image via MSN
Source: Lifestyle.NG