So you feel unheard, unloved and maybe a little insecure. And then you decide to dump him just to get his attention. It works. He goes down on his knees, buys you a bunch of flowers and he suddenly becomes the sweetest guy in the world. You go back. But then the excitement fizzles. The relationship returns to the status quo and you dump him again. It works again, so you figure you now have a system.
You may believe that breaking up with someone just to get them to act the way you want them to is smart. But when you think about it, not only is it petty and childish, it’s also quite stupid. You’re not solving any problems at all. In fact, all you’re doing is making things worse, mainly for these three reasons.
You are not communicating
If you have to resort to such passive-aggressive means to get your partner’s love and attention, then something is very wrong with how you both communicate. Are you afraid that when you tell him you want a little more attention or romance, he will refuse? Or do you simply not know how to use your words. You cannot have a healthy relationship if you cannot say what you need. So if the break-up-make-up cycle is your how your process work, you need a new and better plan.
(Photo: YourTango)
You’re in the wrong relationship
Maybe you’ve tried talking to him about your needs and he chooses to ignore them. And perhaps, dumping him is the only language he understands. You’re in the wrong relationship. If the fear of losing you is his only reason for loving and respecting you. Dump him for real.
It will stop working at some point
Breaking up with him for attention will eventually stop working. You’re setting a precedent where your partner will simply end up not taking you seriously. And if he does not take something as serious as a breakup seriously, chances are he will dismiss basically anything you say. Besides, do you really want to be the woman that’s all talk and no substance?
(Photo: MadameNoire)
Here’s how a relationship works. You express your needs as clearly as possible to your partner. If he doesn’t fulfill them, you have a choice to decide whether to stay or leave. Then follow through. Stop relying on ridiculous games to get your point across.
Here are five other things you shouldn’t do after a breakup.
Featured Image via Madamenoire
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Source: Lifestyle.NG