‘Destiny Stopper’ trends on Twitter as lady claims ex-lover proposed to stop her PhD ambition
Adeola Olubamiji, a Nigerian woman based in Canada, has become the subject of discussion on Twitter after she recounted how she ditched her ex-lover to pursue her PhD programme.
In a lengthy Twitter thread, Olubamiji said she and her ex-boyfriend were both students in Finland at the time and were juggling their education with a cleaning job.
The lady claimed that the man was madly in love with her.
She also claimed that he could go any length to show his depth of affection.
Olubamiji said while the relationship lasted, she got a fully-funded scholarship to pursue her PhD programme in Canada.
This, she said, prompted her ex-lover to propose to her.
Olubamiji, who is now the founder of STEMHub foundation, said she accepted the guy’s proposal due to fear that “he could harm himself” if she had rejected it before moving to Canada.
According to her, the relationship eventually hit the rocks not long after she left for Canada.
Olubamiji said she was initially scared that her action would backfire as finding love after her failed relationship with the guy became a concern amid societal pressure.
The lady disclosed that she finally got a partner, whom she described as “the greatest supporter I have ever known.”
Reflecting on her journey so far, Olubamiji said she has no regrets ditching her ex-lover to pursue her career.
“Would the guy have proposed when he did if I didn’t get the admission? I think he wouldn’t,” she wrote.
She also enjoined ladies to avoid “destiny stoppers” trying to discourage them from pursuing their goals with marriage proposal.
“Lastly, any destiny-stopper that want to use marriage to stop your progress, May Holy Ghost fire consume them and their plots ! You deserve to have kids when you can take care of them. Any gossiping family members putting pressure on you, may God silence them!” she added.
Her thread has since ignited a wave of reactions on Twitter, with Nigerians sharing contrasting views using the hashtag “#Destiny Stopper”.
While some users argued that she took the right decision, others accused her of being “selfish.”
Here’s what some users had to say:
Dear men,
Unless you succeed in life,
Many women will see you as a failure and a destiny stopper.So work hard. Focus on yourself.
Because in most situations:
Men are only loved for what they have.
Women are loved even if they have nothing.The world will never be fair to men.
— #OurFavOnlineDoc 🩺🇳🇬🇬🇧💎 (@DrOlufunmilayo) February 8, 2022
A man is madly in love with u, u accepted, led him on… u get PhD & visa, he proposed so not to lose u, boom, he turns to a destiny stopper, transactional proposal. I dey fear my fellow women ooo
— Lady Ronke (@lagosdaughter) February 7, 2022
A man proposing to a woman is now called a destiny Stopper 🏌️♂️
The relationship bar with Nigerian women gets lower everyday https://t.co/BIeRsTwNuo
— D A N N Y 👑 (@DW3663) February 7, 2022
I don’t believe in selfishness but having read that destiny stopper thread I think understand why some brothers decide to focus on themselves. It’s really sad on these streets
— Imoh (@ImohUmoren) February 8, 2022
You were both cleaners who were in love, you traveled out for a PhD and all of a sudden, he became a destiny stopper lol fear women.
— Shola (@jayythedope) February 7, 2022
Thank you for knowing the truth early… most people lie to themselves and most people have pot decision making skills…
Pls know this: If your life is meant to go in a certain direction do not be a hindrance.
— Bellz🍓 (@wagbellz) February 7, 2022
It's really sad how some men will hang a marriage proposal over you and ask you to choose love over life. You can have both! Don't let no man tell you different.
If a man loved you, he'll want what's best for BOTH of you.
— Daytola ♓️ (@daytola88) February 7, 2022
1. Regardless of your gender, no relationship is worth sacrificing your career and academic desires and goals for.
2. If gender was switched, we’ll be saying a different story on why the guy did not work on taking or carrying her along.
— Mayopat (@mayowaopats) February 7, 2022
I understand the lesson you wanted to teach but your choice of words made it impossible for the lesson to be taken. Words like; destiny stopper, if you want to be with me, find your way to Canada. It revealed the fact that you didn’t love him enough to at least plan with him
— Onyi Esther (@onyiesthe) February 7, 2022
The way you reduced the man to less than a human being in other to sound heroic though. You could have told your story without dehumanizing him ffs. Destiny stopper? Now that's some demonic stuff. https://t.co/22z9PW3FsM
— excellency (@excetate) February 7, 2022
Realistic? Yeah! It happens.
Hypergamy? Yeah!
Love? Naaaa!! You clearly didn't love him! Probably just familiar with him and his love for you!Destiny stopper? That's your pride speaking!
Between the two of you.
He is more lucky not to have been in a relationship with u. https://t.co/YttActL4x4— JahnTizzle (@Jontizz) February 7, 2022
When a woman loves♥️ a man, she don't see him as a destiny stopper, will put the relationship first, and do anything for him. They only thing she won't do is to leave it to luck and destiny alone.
Our only destiny in life is to work for what we want and not the other way round https://t.co/kyIY6YgS57
— Victor Of ABUJA 🌟🇳🇬 (@victorchigbuU) February 8, 2022