In a world where societal pressure often overshadows personal fulfillment, award-winning author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has once again reminded women—especially young women—of the power and importance of their choices.
In a recent message that has resonated deeply with many, Adichie emphasized the need for women to have something of their own—not just for survival or societal recognition—but for self-fulfilment.
“It’s a very important thing for a woman to have what she does, just for self-fulfilment.”
These words hit at the core of what many women silently struggle with: the tension between external expectations and internal contentment. Whether it’s a career, a passion, a craft, or a calling—having something that is yours gives you a voice, confidence, and a sense of identity that no relationship status or validation from others can replace.
But Chimamanda didn’t stop there.
She went on to address a painful yet common reality among young women—settling in relationships out of desperation or fear of being alone.
“Young women, choose wisely; sometimes, as a lady, you can tell that the person you are with is not really a good person, but you are desperate to get married. Don’t settle.”
Her words echo the unspoken truth many know but hesitate to accept: the cost of choosing the wrong partner can be devastating. Marriage isn’t a band-aid for loneliness, nor should it be a trophy to prove worth. The person you marry will shape your day-to-day life, your mindset, your peace, and your dreams.
“The person you choose will make a huge difference in your life. If you choose someone who is kind and supportive, it will make a huge difference.”
Kindness. Support. These may seem like simple words, but in the context of a lifelong commitment, they are everything. A kind and supportive partner can be the wind beneath your wings, while a toxic or indifferent one can dim your light—even crush your spirit.
So, to every young woman reading this:
Build your life. Nurture your passions. Don’t lose yourself in the noise. And when it comes to love and partnership—choose wisely. Your future depends on it.
Because you deserve a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the outside.
