How can I be sure of what I really want in a relationship?

Dear Bukky,

I’ve been in a long distant relationship for a year plus now, we’ve seen only once and we talk when we can… but over time I’ve stopped feeling the relationship.

This is partly because it seems I’m just being strung along and each time I ask for his plan for us or for himself he doesn’t know or just wants me to be patient.

I have other options and recently I’ve decided to go for a new relationship. However for starters I am keeping it strictly physical with no strings attached. I want to see if it grows into something more or if it’s something I want to pull out from… so we could say it’s FWB kinda relationship.

A part of me also feels that I should go for something more serious… but I’ve not clearly ended it with the previous guy… Please give some advice.
___________

Dear reader,

I think the first thing you should do is cut off the first relationship. Everything you do without officially ending the previous relationship will be unfair to that guy and really wrong.

The relationship you have with him is less than ideal anyway, so ending it should not be difficult.

Having said that I think you should make up your mind, figure out what you want before entering into another relationship. Be sure it’s a friend with benefit thing you want, or if it is something more serious. You really can’t be going around with this indecision and expect to find the kind of happiness you deserve. Make up your mind and then be intentional about getting it.

Make up your mind or else you will keep finding yourself in situations you do not like.
__________

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