These days, people don’t know the difference between working hard for something and losing yourself over it. They don’t realize that ‘effort’ and ‘suffering’ are not synonymous. We now believe we cannot find happiness, success, and satisfaction if our fingers aren’t broken and our soul hasn’t bled.
This mindset is why women are going through the worst kinds of hell just to be with a man. We feel we do not deserve him unless we have ‘suffered’. So we now have the proud ‘ride or die’ ladies who are quite literally dying in the process.
If you are one of these women, here are three big reasons why being afflicted with sufferhead syndrome in a relationship is the worst thing ever.
(Photo: iStock)
Hard work should not kill you
Yes, you and your partner should both put in the effort (emphasis on both) to make a relationship work. But there’s a difference between making out time for one-on-one dates and tolerating abuse from your partner. Here’s an analogy for you. You take the time and effort to water a plant to watch it grow. But if you were asked to ‘water’ it by pouring all your monthly salary in cash on the soil, wouldn’t you consider that a little too much? You shouldn’t feel like the effort you’re putting into your relationship is costing you your own happiness and sanity. You don’t have to sacrifice who you are for a relationship to work. If you are, then you’re going about it the wrong way.
There’s no reward for sufferhead syndrome
The truth is, killing yourself in a relationship or in any other areas of your life for that matter, does not guarantee a reward. If you’re tolerating physical abuse in hopes that he’ll be a better man someday, for instance, there’s a higher chance of him causing you serious harm than of him changing. First, people hardly ever change, especially when they have no reason to. And secondly, even if he does change, you still won’t be happy.
(Photo: MadameNoire)
Let’s draw you a picture. Assuming you and your partner are destined to be together for 50 years. Then he spends 40 of those years chasing after anything that moves. Even when he stops, you’re going to spend that last ten years being resentful. Even if he becomes the most faithful guy in the world in those later years, all you’ll be asking yourself is, if he was indeed capable of being that guy, why wasn’t he that man for you in those 40 years. Point is, your mind will be in a place so crazy that you won’t even enjoy the supposedly ‘good’ times you thought you were suffering for.
Men aren’t afflicted with sufferhead syndrome
…at least not when it comes to relationships anyway. Why aren’t we seeing that all these commandments to endure are usually directed at women? Most men are smart enough to walk away when things aren’t working for them. They aren’t really the type to ‘ride or die.’ But somehow, we think it’s okay that women should stay for the kids, stay for the ring, stay for the money, stay to avoid being talked about, etc.
(Photo: YourTango)
Nah, it’s time to start demanding more. The fact that we have so much energy to ‘suffer’ shows that when we are much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Just imagine what could happen if we transferred that strong will into actually fighting for what we deserve. Think about what you can achieve when you put all that power into building an actual healthy relationship as opposed to enduring one that could very well leave you dead someday.
Sufferhead syndrome is a disease. But the good news is that it’s curable. All you need to do is to shift your mindset.
For more, find out why you shouldn’t ‘suffer’ with a broke guy because he has potential.
Featured Image via Tyler Perry Productions.
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Source: Lifestyle.NG