Things can get really awkward and uncertain if your man proposes and you’re not ready for marriage. Or you just aren’t sure if this is the man you want to spend your life with. What exactly do you say? “No, but check back tomorrow?” Or do you say yes and hope for a long, drawn-out engagement to figure things out?
When you’re not ready to get married but your partner can’t wait to take that leap, it can be a make or break moment for your relationship. Your partner may feel like you don’t really love him or both of you just aren’t on the same page. He may end up feeling unwanted or you start feeling pressured.
So if you want to say no to his proposal without losing the relationship, here are three things to think about.
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Consider honesty
The only way you can get through this awkward phase as a couple is to tell your partner exactly what it is that is holding you back from saying yes at that time. Perhaps, one of the reasons why he proposed earlier than you’d prefer may be because you and your partner have not been really open with each other. So while it’s okay to say no, start talking about exactly what’s making you hesitant. Is there a timeline? And if you would just prefer to get to know him better, then express those feelings too.
Apologize but don’t drown in guilt
Here’s the thing, if you reject his proposal, it’s natural that your partner feels like you’re rejecting him. Chances are, this can lead to feelings of anger and insecurity. And these feelings will not be wiped away in one day. Be kind and apologize if his feelings are hurt. But you should never hold on to the guilt. A proposal is, after all, a question with a yes or no answer – and you have the right to say no. But if you continue to feel guilty, it can cause you to overcompensate and even change your no to yes just to make him feel better.
(Photo: Indian express)
Give it time
Your man will feel some doubts about the relationship after a rejected proposal. And that’s okay. What you shouldn’t do is pretend it didn’t happen and sweep it all under the rug. So if he needs time and space to process what you told him about waiting and to deal with his own hurt feelings, then give that to him. Keeping a relationship after a proposal has been rejected isn’t something you do on your own. Your man has a choice in the matter too. Hopefully, he understands your position and would want to continue with the relationship. But he reserves the right to say he’s done too. If it comes to that, be respectful of his decision.
What happens when the situation is reversed? Here’s how to deal with it if you’re ready for marriage and your partner isn’t.
Featured Image via Kornb2hype / Instagram
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