A woman’s friendship with a man who killed her son ha surprised many. According to the mum it took her a long time to let go because she was bitter.
Joan Scourfield’s unlikely friendship with Jacob Dunne has sprung from the most unpropitious beginnings. He is a former gang member; she is a nursing assistant with two grandchildren. Yet a fondness has grown between them.
And the most extraordinary thing of all is that Jacob killed her son.
Jacob, now 27, admitted to the manslaughter of 28-year-old James Hodgkinson. He killed the promising trainee paramedic with a single punch to his head — and after he had served his prison sentence Joan wanted to meet him. Today, she talks movingly about how she came to forgive him.
‘It took me a long time, ‘ she says. ‘To begin with I was bitter and angry, mostly at the justice system. Jacob had been inside for just 14 months of his 30-month sentence. I thought James’s life was worth more than that. What kind of a deterrent was it for other gangs? When I first saw Jacob in a police mugshot he looked like a thug. But then, two-and-a-half years later, I met him and he just seemed a very vulnerable young man who really needed my support.
‘I wanted him to do something constructive with his life, to stop him going back to his old ways — but for a while I thought that by helping him I was betraying James. But that isn’t so. I still love and miss James just as much. I just couldn’t carry the resentment with me any longer. And when I forgave Jacob it felt like a release.
Jacob, the killer
‘Jacob’s crime is not a big focus any more. What matters is that he has turned his life around and we’re working together to prevent conflict. I’m proud of what he has achieved.’
Joan, 57, a former A&E nurse who now works in mental health, is an unassuming woman with a heroic capacity for kindness. With her encouragement, the transformation in Jacob’s life has been astonishing.