“Oscar Pistorius Has Been Very Dramatic … I Don’t Know If He’s Acting” – Reeva Steenkamp’s Mum

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Reeva Steenkamp’s heartbroken mother, June Steenkamp, revealed to the Daily Trust on how she feels when she watches Oscar Pistoruis in court, she also says she doesn’t care about the judgement as it won’t bring her daughter back. Read the rest of the story after the break

“It was a big thing for me to go to the trial in the first place and face up to what is going on.It’s very traumatic when certain things come up. This is my child – and I must listen to the graphic detail.

I look at Oscar the whole time, to see how he is coping, how he is behaving. I’m obsessed with looking at him, it’s just instinctive, I can’t explain it.I keep thinking, “let’s see how he’s taking this”. He has been very dramatic, the vomiting and crying.’I think he’s just about keeping himself together. I don’t know whether he’s acting. Most of the time he’s on his cell phone or looking down at papers or writing notes.

His apology left me unmoved. I knew it was coming.I cried for the first time, ‘Yes’, but not because he apologised, because of the suffering and agony that my darling daughter went through and because I will never have her again.

 He did eventually look at me . My presence unnerves him, I’m sure of it. He’s answerable to me.He looked at me and said, ‘Good morning, Mrs Steenkamp’.I never answered, I just nodded my head.It was for him to see me, nothing to do with what I’m seeing and what I’m feeling, do you understand?I don’t know the man. All I know is what he’s done

He must see me there in the court, he must feel my eyes boring into him, I think it makes a lot of difference.I do look at him too much, maybe. I like to see how he is reacting. I can see him very clearly, even without my glasses – he’s the only one I can see, he’s right in front of me.I start crying out, crying all the tears and pain I’ve held inside in court. I feel very vulnerable.

I imagine how she must have been in terror and pain and suffering, devastated by what was going on. I relive that scene in the bathroom and it’s changed me so much, made me harder.I keep it all in and when I get back to the hotel it all comes out and I break down.The whole world is watching you and you don’t want people to see you when you’re in pain.I don’t want to be crying in public. I’m a private person. I like to keep my feelings to myself.I’m being strong for Reeva, I have to be there. It’s hard for me to do it, but I’m representing my child.I’m there for her, as much as it’s hell for me, I know that I have to be there, I’m compelled to be there.”
‘I’m being strong for Reeva, I have to be there. It’s hard for me to do it, but I’m representing my child.It won’t bring my daughter back.”

“I don’t care what happens to Oscar, I don’t even care if he goes free.All I know is that he has to stand up to what he’s done and – if he has to – pay for it.What difference is it going to make to me if he goes to prison for 25 years or is allowed to walk free?No one can tell me how I should feel, and those are my feelings. I’m not a person who wants to punish him . I want my daughter back, but it’s never going to happen.”