We all know relationships are hard to keep. You see women who cook, wash, clean, have sex in all imaginable style to keep the man they are dating? Most times those men don’t end up marrying them, and I’ll tell you why.
Do you get irritated when you want to buy something from someone and they are desperate to sell to you? They keep saying anything just to get you buy?
In most cases, how do you feel?
For me, I often feel that it’s either something is wrong with the stuff or the price is inflated. I’ve discovered that desperation is a sign of the dearth of value, and a show of sheer insecurity. Why? So that by all means they can sell it out. It’ll be gain for them to sell that stuff out no matter the price than to keep it back.
Relating this to relationships. When a woman or a man is trying so hard to keep a dating partner, that relationship doesn’t lead nowhere in the end.
Why?
People don’t want to feel like you’re trying so hard to impress them. It devalues you and puts them above you. Most times the admiration they have for you wanes down.
Also, people who try so hard to keep a partner convey insecurity to their partners. In words, it sounds this way: “I am trying so hard to please you and impress you and make you stay because this is the only opportunity I have to marry….”
You sound so insecure that if this doesn’t work, you won’t embrace your personal beauty and move on.
If you have to do anything outside being yourself to impress a man, you’re struggling with complex issues. You are desperate, and nothing devalues one like desperation.
A lady told me she’d just pack her things and cohabit with her man whenever she wants him to marry her. I had to school her. It’s ridiculous. Withholding some most times draws out the best of your partner. Giving all just to be married is madness. You marry to give all, you don’t give all to marry. Why? Because averagely humans are moved by what’s not accessible.
I’m not saying folks who cohabit don’t end up marrying but only 20% do. Why? Because less is more!
I’m personally more inclined to women who don’t throw everything out. Women who don’t try so hard to prove a point. Women who don’t try so hard to push it.
It’s basic psychology. Everyday a guy meets desperate women because the average woman is desperate for love and marriage. You become a different and exceptional woman when you ain’t desperate.
Trying so hard to impress is a turn off. Be yourself. Don’t play hard to get, be actually hard to get.
I’m not in any way saying that cooking or cleaning for your man is wrong, but if the motivating factor is to get him marry you. You are under selling yourself.
Solomon Buchi Bartholomew