Dear Jay,
My best friend since secondary school and I had a falling out a couple of years ago. While we were in secondary school, she and this guy dated for some months. They broke up because she caught him cheating on her.
About seven years later, I ran into him and he’s now a successful business owner. He and I started talking and I started having feelings for him. Since I thought his thing with my friend was a long time ago and they didn’t even date for very long, I thought it was okay. I told my friend about dating her ex. At first, she seemed okay with it. But as our relationship began to get more serious, she started pulling away. Now she doesn’t even talk to me again.
Is it wrong to date a friend’s ex? Can I repair things with my best friend or do I just let her go?
Yetunde.
Dear Yetunde
Should you date a friend’s ex? Well, the answer to that question depends on a number of things. But all of that doesn’t matter because this particular friend seems to have a problem with it.
Remember, this guy hurt her deeply in the past. So it’s possible that she considers your relationship with him as approval for what he did to her. She may think you believe it’s okay for him to hurt her and you forgive him for that. Your friend may see this as a betrayal from you as well.
Also, have you considered the fact that she may still have feelings for the guy? Yes, it’s been years since they dated but emotions often defy logic. Your best friend may have fantasized about a future with this guy someday. And the fact that you’re seriously dating has put a damper on all of that.
Talk to her. Let her know you miss her and you wouldn’t want your relationship to end your friendship with her. Give her a chance to open up about where she’s coming from.
If she’s still not interested in rekindling the friendship, then give it time. However, accept that she may or may not come around.
What do you think? Is it okay to date a friend’s ex? Check out Jay’s advice on how to attract a rich man.
Source: Lifestyle.NG