‘I Caught Him Sexting His Ex. He Says It’s Not Cheating’

Dear Jay,

I am at a loss as to how to move forward in my relationship. Normally, I don’t look at my boyfriend’s phone but one day, a text came in while I was sitting next to him. Upon glancing at the phone I saw a very suggestive message pop up. I asked him who that was and he shrugged me away.

I let it go but I had gotten curious. So, later on, I looked at his phone and saw that he was sexting his ex. The messages were extremely suggestive. The lady does not stay in the same state as us but they talk about looking forward to meeting up.

I confronted him and he said they are just words and that even though he was sexting his ex, it didn’t count as cheating since they did not actually do anything.

What do I do? Am I overreacting?

Becky.

(Photo: BET)

Dear Becky

Only you can answer the question of whether or not you consider this as cheating. But there are a few things you must think about.

First, how do you think your man will feel if you were the one sending suggestive messages to an ex-boyfriend. If the answer is hurt, betrayed, disappointed, then yes, this is a betrayal to you as well.

Also, from your mail, it sounds like the only thing holding them back from having sex (if he hasn’t already done that) is distance. What makes you think this relationship will not go from phone to physical if the opportunity presents itself?

Never let someone, even a boyfriend, tell you how to feel. The fact that he’s sexting his ex is definitely a red flag in the relationship unless you and he have had a previous agreement that that’s okay.

So, now you need to ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with someone who has no problem hurting you and add to that, expects you to simply take it. I think you deserve better and it’s not too late to get out and find someone who respects you and values what you have together.

Good luck.

(Photo: Gettyimages)

What do you think she should do in this situation? By the way, check out Jay’s advice to a woman who is being hit on by her fiance’s best friend.

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