“He Thinks I’m Cheating. How Can I Make Him Trust Me

Dear Jay,

I am 24 years old and dating a guy who is 28. We have been together for more than two years now but my issue is that he does not trust me.

I have always been faithful to him and he knows where I am at all times. But he still thinks I’m cheating on him. He would call me at random times during the day to check if I am with another guy. He checks my phone all the time and has even deleted several numbers of old male friends.

Even when he does not see anything suspicious on my phone, he still says he’s sure I have another guy somewhere. I have tried everything I can think of to make him trust me. What else can I do?

Fadeke.

(Photo: Giphy)

Dear Fadeke

Your relationship sounds exhausting. Having to work so hard to prove your faithfulness to him must be tasking. But the simple answer to your question, “how do I make him trust me?” is that you can’t.

There’s absolutely nothing you can do to make someone trust you, especially when they are determined not to. This sounds like the case in your relationship.

There could be many reasons for his distrust. Perhaps he has been hurt in the past, or he is simply insecure. Heck, he may even be the unfaithful one and his guilt is causing him to turn the tables on you. But since you say you have not done anything to cause this, then chances are this is a ‘him’ problem.

You need to have a conversation with him. Express how much you love him and that you don’t want to do anything to hurt him. Make him understand that his accusations are hurtful and you cannot continue in such a toxic relationship. He either trusts you or he doesn’t but you cannot spend the rest of your life proving yourself to him.

(Photo: Tenor)

Make sure you’re clear that you’re ready to end things if he keeps on acting this way. See if he changes after the conversation. Hopefully, telling him these will encourage him to do some self-reflection and perhaps find the root of his distrust.

But if things remain the same, then it’s time to end your relationship. The truth is, a relationship without trust is basically dead. You’re only going to succeed in making each other miserable the longer you stay together.

Good luck.

What do you think she should do in this situation? Please share your thoughts in the comment section. Also, read Jay’s advice to a woman who found out her boyfriend has a fiance.

Do you have a burning relationship question you need answers to? Send us an email at [email protected]

Featured Image via Tenor

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