You also need to be clued up on mum-speak, the secret language used by mums and dads around the UK. Yes, pals, there’s a secret code that you must decipher to know what your child-rearing friends are on about.
ChannelMum has shared a list of the funniest phrases used by parents these days, noting that 35% of parents they surveyed use secret slang so their children don’t understand what they mean. But do you know what these terms mean? Or are you just as clueless as that poor, hapless three-year-old who doesn’t know what her mum and dad are laughing about?
20 mum phrases you need to know:
Mum bun – mum hairstyle, when your hair’s just thrown up in a messy bun so it’s out of your face
Poonami – an explosion of poo
Winging It – doing your best when everyone else seems to be more organised
Threenager – three going on 13
Sniff test – checking to see if the baby really needs a change by sniffing their butt
Mombie – a mum who’s absolutely exhausted through lack of sleep
Flying solo – coping on your own
Mumboss – mum in charge
The handover – passing the baby to your partner as soon as they get home
Velcro baby – clingy baby
iParenting – using a tablet to keep your child quiet
Niplash – when a breastfeeding baby twists their head without letting go of your nipple
Freezer tapas – serving up whatever bits you can find in the freezer
Going to bed early – having sex
Adult headache – hangover
Musical beds – when children change beds all night long
Beige rainbow – ready-made playdate food like chicken nuggets and chips
Mum spa – opening the dishwasher so you’re hit with some steam
Deja poo – when the baby fills their nappy for the 20th time that day
Ginwag – catching up on the gossip over a glass of gin